CHILLICOTHE, Ohio — A local man found himself in a sticky situation on Sunday, after reportedly refusing to vacate a bathroom at Tiffin Towers, leading to a flush of legal consequences.
At approximately 5:02 a.m., Chillicothe Police Officer Justin Tuttle was dispatched to 78 S. Walnut Street following reports of a subject clogging up the facilities. Upon arrival, Tuttle observed the man exiting the main lobby, seemingly relieved to be out in the open air. When questioned, the man admitted he was “stuck on the throne” longer than expected, citing an inability to get off the toilet as the root of his delay.
“I was just trying to handle my business,” the man told the officer, “but it turned into a real sit-uation.”
Brooke Anne Parrish, an employee at Tiffin Towers, wasn’t amused by the prolonged potty pause. She requested that the man be barred from the premises, citing the need to keep the property’s flow uninterrupted. Officer Tuttle informed the man he was officially banned from the building, warning that any return could lead to a criminal trespass charge—a consequence that could really back things up for him.
The man acknowledged the warning, stating he understood, and left the property without further incident, presumably to find a new place to take care of business. A note has been added to his record to ensure the trespass warning sticks.
Tiffin Towers management declined to comment, but sources say they’re hoping to avoid any future pipe dreams involving the man. The Chillicothe Police Department continues to monitor the situation, ready to plunge into action if needed.
This story is based on an official police report (Case PD-P2503461) and adheres to journalistic standards while incorporating lighthearted puns for humor.